Age is something frightening to me. Age hits you from the back. Usually it is not something that occur so naturally for us to realize how fast we age, until we sit down and reflect upon ourselves with what we have been occupied with all these while. At times, it is difficult to foresee what changes will take place as we age, and most of the time it is not for us to predict what will happen next.
Sometimes, we can only have that tad bit of control in our lives.
In any point of time, when one is desperately craving for success.. Many would have setbacks, and it's common to say those who persevere are achievers. But ironically. Perseverance may be to plain to achieve something. We can dream for what we desire, work towards it like there's no tomorrow and just hope that we'll be closer to reaching our dreams one day. But will all that be just as favourable as what we expect it to be?
Should I say, I'm actually not as complacent as I seem to be. Amazingly, there are just to many things I want to control in my life. But I can't, I can only hope for the best.
While I couldn't sleep last night, I decided to browse through my phone. There were long posts, expressing their thanks and love to their Mothers. As today is a meaningful day for kids to show their appreciation to their mothers, Mother's Day was the focus to many people.
As I lied in bed motionless, I just began to think how much my parents have provided me with in this life. I started shedding tears for some reason. I just felt really grateful. My thoughts then brought me to think about myself.. Yes. Myself. I just started thinking about what I've contributed to the family in these twenty years of my life. Considering what I'm and who I'm in my family. Aside from my parents, I'm the only one. I don't know how weird I'm to be thinking all these in that particular hour. But a sudden heavy responsibility just started weighing itself on my shoulders. My parents are not that young anymore. As compared to all my peers, they are actually much more mature in terms of age. I cried. I couldn't think of what I could do to make their lives better after they have given me so much. I counted, estimating the number of years I have left to work towards my dreams, to be successful. This is because I want to give them the best before it's too late. Yet, I still had to question myself whether I really had a dream, a goal, an aim to work towards. The best reason why I'm even more disappointed in myself is because, I don't. How can I be successful in that case? When there is nothing waiting for me to succeed in. I thought really really deeply.
How will I be able to face my parents if I didn't do well this lifetime. If they couldn't rely on me, who else can they rely on in the future?
Such lingering feelings.
Sometimes, we can only have that tad bit of control in our lives.
In any point of time, when one is desperately craving for success.. Many would have setbacks, and it's common to say those who persevere are achievers. But ironically. Perseverance may be to plain to achieve something. We can dream for what we desire, work towards it like there's no tomorrow and just hope that we'll be closer to reaching our dreams one day. But will all that be just as favourable as what we expect it to be?
Should I say, I'm actually not as complacent as I seem to be. Amazingly, there are just to many things I want to control in my life. But I can't, I can only hope for the best.
While I couldn't sleep last night, I decided to browse through my phone. There were long posts, expressing their thanks and love to their Mothers. As today is a meaningful day for kids to show their appreciation to their mothers, Mother's Day was the focus to many people.
As I lied in bed motionless, I just began to think how much my parents have provided me with in this life. I started shedding tears for some reason. I just felt really grateful. My thoughts then brought me to think about myself.. Yes. Myself. I just started thinking about what I've contributed to the family in these twenty years of my life. Considering what I'm and who I'm in my family. Aside from my parents, I'm the only one. I don't know how weird I'm to be thinking all these in that particular hour. But a sudden heavy responsibility just started weighing itself on my shoulders. My parents are not that young anymore. As compared to all my peers, they are actually much more mature in terms of age. I cried. I couldn't think of what I could do to make their lives better after they have given me so much. I counted, estimating the number of years I have left to work towards my dreams, to be successful. This is because I want to give them the best before it's too late. Yet, I still had to question myself whether I really had a dream, a goal, an aim to work towards. The best reason why I'm even more disappointed in myself is because, I don't. How can I be successful in that case? When there is nothing waiting for me to succeed in. I thought really really deeply.
How will I be able to face my parents if I didn't do well this lifetime. If they couldn't rely on me, who else can they rely on in the future?
Such lingering feelings.
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